Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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