It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
