I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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