I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
