i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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