I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
