Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
