yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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