do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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