That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
