thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
