don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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