I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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