dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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