youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
