just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
