I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
