Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
