i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
