Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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