I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
