You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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