we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I party with great urgency now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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