He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
