If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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