If i come over, it means nothing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
