Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
