Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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