My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
