I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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