Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
