Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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