Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
