On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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