I'm drive I can fine osifer
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
