You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
