I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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