I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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