Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
