brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
