im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're a waste of cheezeits
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
