You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
