she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
