I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
