there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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