After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
