Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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