I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
