party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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