So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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