I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
