just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
